1994 KAREN: Hi there?
2014 KAREN: Hello, is that this Karen?
1994 KAREN: Sure, it’s.
2014 KAREN: That is going to sound completely bizarre, however, um…that is your future self, Karen. From 2014.
1994 KAREN: Shut the entrance door! What? Who is that this? Jen, is that you just?
2014 KAREN: No, actually. It’s me, Karen. I imply, I’m additionally Karen. I’m calling you from 20 years sooner or later.
1994 KAREN: You sound… Dude, how’s that even attainable? Who is that this!? Somebody’s pulling my leg. Are you that man from the bus cease the opposite day? The Terminator one?
2014 KAREN: Nope, not that man. Though I do bear in mind him. Tall, within the inexperienced plaid shirt —
1994 KAREN: No means! How are you aware that?
2014 KAREN: He was a physics main. Actually cute and humorous. I believe he needed to ask us out, now that I give it some thought.
Anyway, I solely have a couple of minutes right here, in order that’s sufficient about boys. I’ve one thing crucial to debate with you.
1994 KAREN: Man, that is blowing my thoughts! If you happen to’re actually from 20 years sooner or later… I would like extra proof. Inform me one thing else solely you — I imply we? — would know.
2014 KAREN: OK. Properly, proper now you’re most likely carrying Clinique Black Honey Nearly Lipstick.
1994 KAREN: NO WAY!!!
2014 KAREN: You’re struggling in chem and, reality be advised, faculty has been rather a lot lonelier than you thought it might be. You additionally actually miss Mother, Dad and Al, however you’d by no means admit that to them.
1994 KAREN: OK, I’m formally freaked out proper now. That is extremely freaky…
Properly, then I suppose I ought to ask why you’re calling. Is it one thing unhealthy? It’s one thing unhealthy, isn’t it?
2014 KAREN: No, no, in no way. I simply actually needed to say hello and — I do know this sounds bizarre — remind you that you just’re stronger than you suppose.
1994 was a tough yr, however you’re gonna be OK. It may not appear to be it now, however all the things’s going to work out.
1994 KAREN: Actually??
2014 KAREN: Sure, actually.
I want I may say extra…however the contract I signed forbids me from disclosing something particular that might alter the course of our life.
1994 KAREN: Gotta be imprecise… I get it. I completely get it. I’ve seen the Terminator —
2014 KAREN: — 500 instances, haha!
1994 KAREN: Nonetheless, thanks — what ought to I name you? Future Karen? I really feel higher simply realizing you’re there.
2014 KAREN: I’m nearly out of time… Simply bear in mind to hearken to your intestine, Karen. It gained’t steer you mistaken.
1994 KAREN: I’ll, however don’t go! Wait. I do know you may’t say particulars, however what’s the longer term’s like? Are there flying vehicles?
2014 KAREN: Dude. Please.
1994 KAREN: I take that as a no. Shoot. OK, is Johnny Depp nonetheless scorching??
2014 KAREN: Smokin’.
1994 KAREN: Good to know. Are all the ladies nonetheless carrying Clinique Black Honey Lipstick?
2014 KAREN: Oh! Humorous it is best to ask. Get this: it’s nonetheless round, however Clinique is taking the colour and releasing it as a bunch of various merchandise — a nail polish, a gel liner, a gloss and an eyeshadow, which I’m truly carrying immediately!
1994 KAREN: What?! Clinique Black Honey in eyeshadow type? You’re blowing my thoughts proper now.
2014 KAREN: I do know! It’s loopy, proper? Yeah, it’s truly actually cool. You’d prefer it. It’s a shimmery, coppery purplish brown. Doesn’t appear to be a lot within the pan, however when you sweep it within the crease, it takes on a lifetime of its personal. Extra of the coppery purple comes by way of, and it’s completely beautiful.
1994 KAREN: Um, bought!
2014 KAREN: Haha! Why am I not stunned?
1994 KAREN: I’ll preserve an eye fixed out for it when it comes out in 20 years.
2014 KAREN: Good. Pay attention, Okay, they’re telling me I’ve to go now, however I wish to let you know yet one more factor.
1994 KAREN: Shoot.
2014 KAREN: Simply…don’t be so onerous on your self, OK? By way of all of the ups and downs and if you’re feeling unhappy and lonely, be good to your self, and do not forget that I really like you. I completely, positively love you.
1994 KAREN: Awww! Thanks, future Okay. Love you, too. I can’t wait to satisfy you. That is bizarre… Maintain your self. Us.
2014 KAREN: See you quickly.
Your pleasant neighborhood magnificence addict,