Episode 3 – “FagCon Fish Tank” [POLL] : XtinasDragRace

The queens return to the werkroom after /u/niktheburger’s elimination.

“I’m devastated proper now,” says /u/StoryFae, wiping off her lipstick message.

🏁 StoryFae I used to be within the backside 2 for the primary time this week and… it was horrible. Like I’m pleased with the way in which I slayed the stage, however seeing my buddy go dwelling was terrible.

“You completely labored that stage although,” says /u/micronesiarain, “you need to be pleased with your self.”

🏁 Micronesiarain I really feel dangerous for StoryFae however I hope she is aware of that we’re all rooting for her.

“However congratulations to /u/AngolanDesert in your win!” says /u/SoshiWoshi.

“Thanks!” says /u/AngolanDesert, “I wasn’t even positive individuals would get the reference so I’m ecstatic.”

🏁 AngolanDesert Final week I positioned low and this week I received. I’m so comfortable proper now. I hope I can preserve impressing the judges.

“That was such an in depth one I believe,” says /u/lilac_candy, “I used to be so shut!”

“Sure however not shut sufficient pricey.” says /u/netpuppy.

🏁 lilac_candy Am I mad that I did not get the win? Hmm… pause… pause… no, I believe it was a good selection.

“Properly you definitely dished it out to the judges, Michelle particularly!” laughs /u/lilac_candy.

“Perhaps you need to step it up too Michelle, you appear to put on quite a lot of capri pants for somebody who thinks they’ve the {qualifications} to guage different individuals’s trend.” snaps again /u/netpuppy*.*

“I simply assume that was improper, like… Michelle is a decide. Present her some respect, ?” says /u/SoshiWoshi.

“Oh right here we go…” says /u/netpuppy. “You do not have a win but both boo!”

The ladies all begin dedragging.

🏁 SoshiWoshi It’s straightforward for everybody to name me out, however I’m nonetheless and not using a win. And that is about to vary.

🎶 dramatic music

/u/SoshiWoshi rips off her eyelashes.

🏁 SoshiWoshi It is time to serve it – South Korean metropolis fashion.

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The ladies enter the werkroom. /u/SoshiWoshi is carrying /u/AngolanDesert on her again.

🏁 SoshiWoshi It is a new day within the werkroom and it is time to shiiiiine!

“So is that this a factor?!” says /u/StoryFae.

“Oh my Gawd, it is Branjie Half 2.” says /u/micronesiarain.

V.O. COUGHING? Throughout my interview? Hahaha… shoot him!

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The ladies collect across the monitor and see Xtina.

Xtina: “I really like cash. Hmm sure. And what higher solution to make it, than to promote crappy merchandise on my web site? ChristinaAguilera.com!”

“I am about to promote my soul to the satan.” says /u/lilac_candy.

“Gurl what?” says /u/AngolanDesert.

Xtina: “Howdy hey hey bitches!” The ladies cheer.

Xtina: “Ladies, I’ve massive information. We have been ready for it for a very long time… and sure, it is official, the primary ever Xtina’s FagCon is right here!”

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The ladies cheer.

Xtina: “Now FagCon is a celebration of affection, life and the pursuit of cash, honey. For this week’s problem, you have to to provide you with your individual merchandise which you’d promote at FagCon! And on the runway tonight, class is… Enterprise Fish! So good luck and do not fuck it up! Byeeee!”

The ladies begin getting ready their merch.

“Have we acquired any concepts?” asks /u/AngolanDesert.

“I believe I wish to do one thing actually artistic and on model, like a e book or one thing.” says /u/StoryFae.

“OH I get it, since you’re Story…Fae.” laughs /u/AngolanDesert.

“I believe I would go on the market, like one thing actually… over the drop draggy.” says /u/lilac_candy.

🏁 lilac_candy I have been doing very well up to now, however I actually wish to snatch that win. You already know what they are saying – the season winner normally will get a win within the first few episodes. Properly, more often than not. Sorry Morgan McMichaels.

“C’mon hungry hungry hip pads!” laughs /u/SoshiWoshi.

“I believe I am gonna go little freaky.” says /u/micronesiarain.

🏁 micronesiarain Er sure, information flash, I’ll seem like a chic regal queen however I’m a lil freak! Who is not?

“Xtina will love that shit,” laughs /u/SoshiWoshi, “that dirrty ass ho.”

“I believe I am gonna do one thing that no one else has considered… or possibly Nina West has.” says /u/netpuppy.

“Oh God… a foot licking system?” screams /u/StoryFae.

🏁 StoryFae gags

“Erm, one thing like that,” chuckles /u/netpuppy.

🏁 netpuppy I’ve been protected TWO weeks in a row! I want that to vary, so I’m pulling out ALL the stops tonight.

“I believe I used to be very impressed by you on the runway final week sis,” says /u/AngolanDesert, “so I’ll make one thing to close Michelle up.”

🏁 AngolanDesert Will I get into hassle for dissing Michelle?

Producer: “No, you are alright.”

🏁 AngolanDesert Oh good. Hahaha…

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Hahahahaha!

🎶 LET’S GET GLAM!

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Xtina: “WELCOOOOOOME to the principle stage of Xtina’s Drag Race! Hey Automoderator, do not you simply love cash?”

Automoderator: “I believe I do… I’m not positive. Recently I have been toying with nihilism.”

Xtina: “Yeah, positive. And if anybody is aware of something about promoting your self, it is my gal pal Michelle Visage! Are you excited for FagCon 2020?”

Michelle: “Properly, I’m a British Black homosexual man inside so-“

Xtina: “My queens have been tasked with creating their very personal merchandise to promote at Xtina’s FagCon 2020! However first, class is Enterprise Fish! So Redditors, begin your engines and should the very best queen… win!”

🎶 Class is…

“I wished to point out one thing fully totally different and out of doors of the field for me. This outfit is androgynous, attractive, and hanging and I really feel HOT carrying it.”

Xtina: “She’s breast in present.”

Automoderator: “Titillating!”

Michelle: “I miss my twins.”

“Who would fuck with this bitch within the boardroom? I’m residing for this Prince meets Enterprise Bitch powder pink creation tonight. Yas mawma! Get these shares!”

Xtina: “Do not sink the pink!”

Automoderator: “Legs, legs, legs on the company agenda.”

Michelle: “She fucked her approach as much as the highest.”

“So on the runway I wished to present… businesswoman on the streets of NYC, giving ‘It’s all enterprise’ fish, giving head of Vogue (Phrase to Anna Wintour). The Asian supreme.”

Xtina: “Editor-in-Queef.”

Automoderator: “She’s Anna Win-tearing up the stage.”

Michelle: “When it doubt, cinch it out.”

“Like Steve Harvey as soon as mentioned, you higher work! Aww, I really like the gays…really! I really feel superb on this look, taking every step with energy and pleasure. Watch and be taught girls, that is the way you care for enterprise.”

Xtina: “Come on, brogue.”

Automoderator: “Shoulder pad to shoulder pad.”

Michelle: “I really like a poof-“

Xtina: “I-“

Michelle: “-y sleeve! A poofy sleeve!”

Xtina: “I am calling HR.”

“I went with an aesthetic black and white search for the trendy day enterprise lady.”

Xtina: “I wore one thing like that in the course of the Bionic period.”

Michelle: “Positive you probably did.”

Xtina: “I DID put on one thing like that in the course of the Bionic period. I did!”

Automoderator: “Black and white drama mama.”

“I’m feeling fierce and trendy in my enterprise look. I’ll not personal 99% of this firm, however I positive costume like I do.”

Xtina: “Oh it is Knots Touchdown, the reboot.”

Michelle: “Do not fuck along with her, fellas!”

Automoderator: “Did they’ve firms within the Edwardian period?”

Michelle: “Apparently so.”

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Hahahahaha!

Xtina: “Thanks girls! Now let’s check out your FagCon 2020 merchandise!”

The “Will You Shut Up?” button

This BRAND NEW and CHEAP (please purchase it) shut up button will just remember to don’t need to hearken to Michelle Visage’s tirades anymore! This button that was utilized by the enduring Charlie Hides throughout untucked is unbelievably helpful! Simply click on the button as soon as and it’ll offer you a artistic insult to make use of on any person to close them up. For instance, once I see Karen complaining to the supervisor, I can click on this button and it’ll instantaneously say that she seems like RuPaul on Undertaking Runway! Or, in the event you’re getting critiqued by Michelle Visage to make use of make-up to cover your manly options, simply press the button and it’ll inform her to do the identical! This product has versatility, sturdiness, and the flexibility to close RuPaul up when she mentions your inside saboteur! Purchase it at this time for a budget worth of $4.20, the identical worth as Nik’s wardrobe! This product was endorsed by Joe Biden.

Introducing the Foot Flobber™️ foot paralyzer spray from the Home of Puppies!

Mile excessive stilettos are fabulous, however lethal on the ft. Spray your ft with the Foot Flobber™️ spray and you will not really feel a factor anymore! Drag your self down the runway and showcase your lit heels. I imply you paid $400 for them as an alternative of paying lease, you HAVE to put on them or shopping for them would have been a mistake and now you are homeless and …. Get your Foot Flobber™️ foot paralyzer spray for less than $199.99 NOW solely on FagCon! It is best to regain use of ft in about 1-2 weeks. Preserve out of attain of kids and animals. The FDA doesn’t condone this message.

Soshi Sochic Padtron 5000

My title is Soshi “Thee Asian Supreme” Sochic and I’m right here to speak to you a couple of LOVELY new merchandise only for you gal. To all my individuals who don’t have that pork sword swinging downtown, has it ever been that point of the month if you’re in a sweaty line stuffed with gays assembly a pig in a wig? Properly, don’t have any concern, as a result of now you’ll have the last word pad proper at your service! Utilizing the Soshi Sochic Padtron 5000, all of your worries about your crevices down beneath will probably be solved!

Micro’s Magical Tube O’ Lube

In a world stuffed with phonies, I really feel your ache. And with Micro’s Magical Tube O’ Lube, I really feel much more than that. A brand new, cutting-edge, patent rejected lubricant, activated by compatibility. With the appropriate connection, you’ll really feel your woman bits begin to tingle. Don’t fear, meaning it’s a match. If it’s not a match? You’ll explode. Once more, patent rejected! Micro’s Magical Tube O’ Lube, if it ain’t a match, don’t let it close to your snatch. High quality print: Micro’s Magical Tube O’ Lube isn’t answerable for exploded vaginas, penises, and/or booty holes. Product could be water, no assure might be given. Lubricant has been confirmed to favor caucasian males. It’s my product, depart me alone.

StoryFae model Inspiration Journals

StoryFae model Inspiration journals, for the storyteller in you! It is pages are simply ready to be crammed together with your wildest ideas, desires, and creations. Every cowl has artistic and provoking phrases with stunning artwork. Inside there’s lined pages for written works or journal entries, clean pages for the artists, and even a number of clean music sheets for the musicians seeking to jot down their (musical) notes! It is all made out of high-quality, recycled paper, in order that not even markers will bleed by. Unleash your innermost artistic ideas!

Develop Your Personal Hip Pads!

I’m well-known for my ~~suspicious~~ scrumptious padding and I’m lastly able to share these luscious woman humps with the world! My followers have been pleading with me to launch a line of hip pads, since I’m so famend for my iconic and ideal padding, and I’m thrilled to let that the wait is over!

You’ve all heard of these “develop your individual dinosaur” toys for teenagers. Properly… let me introduce you to “Develop Your Personal Hip Pads” for wannabe drag queens! Simply add water to those miniature hip pads and so they’ll develop as much as 40x in measurement, from little Kenya Michaels to Eureka in even much less minutes than Naomi’s display screen time on AS4! With my Develop Your Personal Hip Pads you possibly can say goodbye to being formed like a surfboard and hey to being the thicc instagram baddie you’ve at all times dreamed of being! As soon as they’ve grown simply stuff them in your stockings and you can also have ~~suspicious~~ scrumptious padding identical to me! *outcomes not assured

r/XtinasDragRace - Episode 3 -

Xtina: “I believe FagCon 2020 goes to be… shut down imminently. Now… time for the judges’ critiques!”

Who ought to win the problem and who needs to be eradicated? Vote right here!

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